I recently traveled down memory lane, reliving my handful of 2015 posts, and I found myself pausing in awe of my life’s transformation. Just a few years ago I was terribly lost, searching for the life circumstance I have today.
Today I live a blissful life of complete normalcy.
It’s astounding how extraordinary the seemingly mundane can be. I found the job I needed, my children are thriving, I have brilliant friends, I am in a healthy and very loving relationship; overall, life is as wonderfully close to perfect as you can get! And I reflect… what a twisted journey I traveled to land in this exact spot. But should I have arrived any other way, I am doubtful I would live as gratuitous as I do. I am surrounded by an abundance of love, health, stability and happiness. So now what?
I have spent so much of my life in search, sometimes crawling through, to find some source of stability and a path to live a steady life that allows me to provide for my offspring. But I did it. In fact, I may have even overachieved! I pretty much love each facet of my ordinary existence. Don’t get me wrong, life isn’t perfect, but I wouldn’t trade my trivial issues for the large-scale ones of times past. So now that I am here, where do I go next? I don’t want the journey of betterment to end. I have always had a long-term project, problem, or necessity to strive towards. But now, I find myself in search of a hobby, a give-back project, or something inspirational I am passionate about. Dance used to be that for me. Every waking moment was about taking lessons, practicing, perfecting, and existing to express through movement. I tried to go back and get involved in dance again, but, sadly, I have fallen out of love. It no longer is a driving force motiving me to take risks, compete, nor does it fill up my ever-draining bucket. My #firstworldproblem is I can’t seem to find a comparable replacement.
So I am returning to my processing place; my writing. And although the last thing my expanding waste-line needs is more computer time, I am sure that I will find what I am looking for inwardly, as I have in the past. My struggles taught me to trust my gut, and this is what my internal intuition has been directing me towards for quite awhile. So here I am – Miss Normal, loving my mediocrity while in search of my next adventure. I welcome guidance – leave me your thoughts. I’d love to hear them.
mommydancexi 